One night, the love I have for myself was put to the test. I had a terrible nightmare where I remember myself driving when suddenly, I fell asleep at the wheel. When I awoke in my dream, I realized I was in the passenger seat with no one driving. Amazingly, despite the car being my old VW Jetta I was in love with and not a self-driving Tesla, the car remained on the road. In my dream, I could feel myself panic. If I didn’t get back into the driver’s seat, surely, I’d crash. I slid over the center console to the driver’s seat and took the wheel when suddenly, the car hit a speed bump. The car lurched into the air, the roof of the vehicle hitting a low bridge. The change startled me; how could this have happened?!
During the commotion, I realized I didn’t know where I was going. I was lost, and my car seemed to be out of control. Suddenly, I was at the precipice of a steep hill, and my car was going down. The road seemed to transform from concrete to a slick water slide. As I continued downward, people appeared on either side of my car. My car cut through the multitude of bathers on the slide; I worried I would hurt someone as they jumped out of the way. By now, I could see ahead that my car was quickly headed towards an ocean or sea. There was nowhere to turn off or exit the slide.
What do I do?
I awoke before the dreaded ending of my car plunging into the depths of the sea, taking me with it.
What does this terrible nightmare have to do with love, hope, and faith?
Trying to grasp its meaning, I wrote down my dream after I woke up. The first thing I remembered was that the car was driving itself safely as I slept at the wheel. Also, I had somehow migrated to the passenger seat. Some unknown force controlled the car when I wasn’t conscious and moved me to another seat. Despite my fear and panic, I’d been safe for miles as the unseeable force drove the car for me.
If I had trusted that my faith would keep me safe like the vehicle’s driving force, the car would have continued smoothly down the road with me along for the ride.
However, due to my fear and lack of faith, I failed miserably after I’d moved back to the driver’s seat and tried to take control of the car. I lost control, and it seemed my car had a mind of its own. I had hoped I would be safe and able to control the car by myself without leaning on anyone or any other forces in the Universe.
If I had had hope, I could have remained safe. But I lost hope as I continued to fail in my capabilities to control my car, or was my dream about controlling my life?
And where was love included in all this?
There must have been some force that cared for me as I slept in the passenger side. But I did not trust this higher power, nor did I understand that they loved me and planned to keep me safe. I could not accept the love given to me. Instead, I had forsaken the love and threw it back at the higher power, thinking I could do everything myself. I didn’t need help, assistance, vigilance, or patience. My fear translated into a defense of self-preservation, and as a result of going it alone, I completely fell into an abyss.
My nightmare taught me I need to love myself so that I can love others more. I need to have faith that everything, not things planned by me but by a Higher Power, will proceed as they should for the greater good. Lastly, I must have hope that things will work out in due time. I realized that it’s time for me to surrender and take the words and meaning of Love, Hope, and Faith seriously. These words will carry me on forever.